Never Let Me Go

Clearly I have no idea of what is an Oscar worthy film, after watching thousands and I mean thousands of films, the concept of what makes a great film eludes me.


Why do I say this, well because I have just watched Never Let Me Go, which has to be one of the most heartbreaking, moving, upsetting yet beautiful films I have seen? It traumatises you, and makes you realise how lucky you are to be alive. You have to understand the nuances of the situation to fully get to grasp the ideas behind it.

How this film was not nominated for best film, best director, best cinematography, best actress, is beyond me. There are not many films that can traumatise, and move you in such a way that you know you will never forget the experience.

Being an emotional screw up like me helps I think, and maybe that makes me biased towards the film, it really upset me and tears fell as I watched the most heartbreaking scenes.

I am not going to spoil the film here by writing about it, all I will say is if you have a heart and feel emotion, watch this film and tell me it is not worthy of the categories I mentioned.

It is a story with love, jealously, forgiveness, sadness, cold hearted pragmatism and expediency; a tale that makes you think about what is life, and what it is to be human.

Clearly because of its content, it has made Never Let Me Go, the type of film that does not get awards, but I bet it will be remembered far into the future.

I now definitely want to read the book, which I expect will be even more upsetting.

When

When all the lights of the world go out,

And all that is left is the fresh breath of air,

When silence envelops the land,

Will you remember me will you care?



When all the trees have lost their blossom,

And finally they lose their leaves,

When the clouds are grey and restless,

Now a cold wind, instead of warm breeze.



When the lights they fade into the dimmest,

And the warmth and glow are spent,

Will we hope and pray, to see that day,

Beg on our knees, wish and repent.



When time tick tock, gives in to solitude,

And the desire to forgive is strongest,

Can we ever bare, pull from despair,

To bring back hope and happiness.

What

Needs a bit of work I think, don't like the ending but I will figure it out someday.


What is this world that we inhabit?

What is the life we lead?

What is light, as well as darkness?

What is real and true?

What is right and never wrong?

What is feeling and emotion?

What is it like to always belong?

What is kind and caring?

What is good that could be bad?

What is excitement and daring?

What is cruel and sometimes sad?

What are lots and lots of many?

What might be unique and often few?

What does all this mean, to me and to you?

If I ever

If I ever get the chance, to live the life I want to lead,

All my dreams they start to come true, and of course I do succeed.

If I ever feel fulfilment, with a longing and desire,

Will all this wonderment and happiness, get me out the awful mire?

If I ever feel contentment, lots of pleasure, lots of joy,

Will it last longer than the feeling; a child has with a new toy.

If I ever see the day, I can safely say that I am proud,

And finally I can stand there and remove the darkest shroud.

If I ever see any of this, what will it all truly mean?

Maybe it will mean acceptance, or something I have seen.

If I ever, if I ever, if I ever, if I ever,

Stop being so pathetic and start to do something clever.

Inside Job - (Humanities Perpetual Loop of Failure)

I think I am encouraged, there seems to be more and more documentaries with higher profiles, discussing the terrible state a few greedy/power hungry humans cause for nearly everyone else. The latest documentary I watched today is Inside Job; it looks at the economic catastrophe that has befallen the world in recent years.


Many years ago, without any knowledge of derivatives, or subprime markets; I reasoned that here in Britain, if house prices continued to rise at the exponential rate they were rising at, it would eventually collapse and ultimately destroy the housing market. As I wrote earlier this week if you earn X pounds or dollars, but your house is rising at X², eventually no one would be able to afford to buy houses apart from the extremely rich. Now I know this is easy to say now after the fact, but it seemed pretty obvious many years ago, even with my basic viewpoint.

So it turned out to be far worse, far more despicable, and far more divisive. I could talk about the virtues of watching the documentary but I suggest people watch it themselves, to see the disaster these greedy deluded people have caused for the world in general.

What worries me is not this example or the many other examples; it’s the pattern that we seem to constantly miss. The same patterns arise, all the time over various types of scenarios, situations, circumstances, and areas, and I can see this because it reminds me of my exercise, and eating problems, we have what could be called a Global Power and Wealth Disorder.

What does it mean, GPWD?

Disaster or imminent disaster causes change.

Rules are introduced to curb likelihood of similar disaster happening again.

Disaster may have a limited affect on other fields, causing similar actions to stop the trend of disaster.

Restrictions, and limitations, take affect and stability returns.

Stability opens new avenues of opportunity, which have no limitations or restrictions.

New opportunities are then exploited to make money, wealth and power.

New opportunities start to gain greater power than the restricted areas.

Restrictions are slowly removed from those areas to level the playing field.

Large amounts of wealth, money and most importantly power is gained.

The power and wealth becomes so great no one wants it to end.

More and more risks are taken.

Some work to begin with, but eventually they start to fail.

Small insignificant losses suddenly become massive major destructive failures.

By now the institutions involved do not realise the catastrophe they are causing and try to save themselves.

Finally the disaster is so great the whole system is broken and we are back to the beginning, with a need to cause change.

This continues, in some kind of perpetual loop, getting larger and larger and larger, affecting more and more people, destroying the lives of many. The snowball affect grows and grows, as it rolls down gathering speed, destroying everything in its path.

This does not just apply to the financial mess, it applies to everything humanity involves itself in, everything.

DISASTER,

ACCOUNTABLITY,

REGULATION,

CONTROL,

STABILITY,

GROWTH,

DEREGULATION,

GREED,

POWER,

ULTIMATE POWER,

INSIGNIFICANT FAILURE,

MASSIVE FAILURE,

CATASTROPHIC FAILURE,

DISASTER!!!!

I know it is a basic viewpoint, but it seems so obvious to me, but then what do I know.

Balance on a Blade

Was there a time in your life?

Which was not full of strife?

Blissful, happy, content,

And you knew what it meant,

Or did you balance on a blade,

Sharp and slicing, still afraid,

No choice but to fall,

No control that was all,

One side it was great,

You were lucky, a happy state,

But then you were slack,

And you were forced back,

The tightrope was thin,

Balance was slim,

And so you begin,

To descend the other way,

And without delay,

And to your dismay,

Surrounded by blackness,

Nothing but emptiness,

Trying without success,

Stuck in a dreadful mess,

Yet you fight and you struggle,

And you think through this muddle,

There must be a way,

You hope that someday,

To get back to the top,

There’s no need to stop,

You climb out the pit,

You feel high what a hit,

But you’re back on the blade,

And the balance does fade,

And you start the charade,

For the balance... is lost forever.

What Happens When the Planet Quits Smoking?

There once was a time,

When the world she was fine,

But now she is not anymore,

When the shit hit the fan,

It was man verses man,

The Planet she started to yawn.

She was bored with the fighting,

And sick of the greed,

And she wanted it back as it was,

With a rumble inside,

And a look of great pride,

She burped loudly,

And wiped out them all.

When all were deceased,

It was a relief,

She patted herself on the back,

Her senses returning,

Her stomach stopped churning,

She felt like she’d quit from two packs.

Reality Parameters – Should or Could we see the True Reality Matrix

It does amaze me how our minds, our brains, our conscious and subconscious thought process can extrapolate trillions and trillions of various types of data and information, and then some brilliant genius’s, can use this to create something new. It is an incredible ability; nothing that we know can do this sort of creative calculating, as well as we can. Is it any wonder some people continue to believe it must be the work of a higher power or God.

Strangely now I think about this further, should it be possible to know our own minds and how it all works, since our minds are creating our reality. Is it only possible to understand the veneer we place over the top? Can we really delve further, without breaking some kind of physical law we are unaware of? Umm something to ponder I suppose, what if there are built in fail safes, to stop us from ever getting to the heart of why we exist and what reality actually is? Fail safes might be the concept of believing in God, or even scientific process and sensory based evidence. Faith in what you see is true, as well as faith in what you feel is true. What if without our strict perspective parameters, we would not exist?

You know that bit in the Matrix, when Neo finally sees the Matrix itself. What if we are not allowed to see this reality matrix around us and if we ever broke through like a computer hacker, our concept of reality would end forever.

I know I am waffling on here, but I like to think and type at the same time and see where it leads, it might be nonsense to most people but I find it quite enlightening. You never know where it may lead and what may come from it, you just type away as I am doing now and hey presto something pops into your head, and you can without knowing make a record immediately. I like that.

I have many times (I know it sounds pretty stupid), but I have tried to think passed the reality parameters; to imagine the world outside and beyond of the world we see, a bit like Neo in the Matrix. I know it sounds really crazy and probably pretty sad to some, but I like I think deeply, concentrate, control my mind and force it down one direction. In the hope one day something unusual will happen, sometimes I think of amazing concepts, others nothing, one day I want to see a new reality, how mad would that be.

The False Dawn of Economic Growth

Everyone is full of doom and gloom about the economy, all you hear on the news is, we won’t be seeing any economic growth for some time to come. We hear the same old crap churned out, interest rates may need to rise, the housing market is falling, blar de blar de blar.


Why do houses have to rise in price? Why can’t they stay cheap? It is an essential part of life to expect a roof over your head, why should it be that some greedy people expect to increase the price of houses, so they can make more money. Why is it that a major part of the economy is based on the ridiculous concept of housing continuously rising? If you buy a property for say £100,000, and it rises to £200,000, and you sell it. The new house you buy is say £300,000 but that house was £200,000 when your first house was £100,000, why do people see this as some kind of gain? You hear all the time; sold my house and made a £100,000 on it, but you didn’t really since the house you bought had risen at the same level.

This loony concept, demanding everything has to grow, and the deluded concept of exponential growth is a fallacy, plain and simple. Yet all you ever here is doom and gloom because there is no growth in the markets or the economy.

When does it all end, when the average house price is £1,000,000? How do you buy a house that was £100,000 the year you bought it, then it’s sold for £200,000, then sold again for say £500,000, then again for £750,000 then again for £1,000,000. How do you purchase the house if in the same time period your monthly wage has hardly risen at all? When the house was £100,000 you earned, let’s be generous, £50,000, and when it’s sold you earned, £51,000, and the next sale you earn £55,000, and the next one £60,000, and finally when the house is sold for £1,000,000, you earn the massive total of say £70,000. Do you get the picture, yet this is what is happening and it has been happening for 15 years.

How do you cope with the massive debt you will need to plunge yourself and your family into, so you can live in a property you can afford? And that just one of the essential things you need to survive.

I wonder how long it will be before we see the same sorts of demonstrations we have seen in the Middle East and North Africa, are on the streets of westernised countries, people saying we have had enough of this shit.

Anyway it’s just a thought.

The Madness of Everest

I have always been fascinated by mountains, they look so grandiose, they stand in majestic magnificence, and some just look beautiful and spectacular. The lord of all mountains and the highest and greatest mountain is of course Mount Everest; it stands at over 29,000 ft, nearly 9,000 metres. It is the most climbed of all the death zone mountains (mountains over 8,000 metres), and because of this, it has had the most deaths, nearly double the next largest I think.


One of the reasons Everest is the most climbed, is because it is classified as an easy mountain, as far as mountains go, to climb. Since it is easier than other mountains to climb, it leads to more people wanting to attempt to climb it, thinking it will be easy. That is definitely not the case, it is the king of death, and as it is nearly 9,000 metres high, and well into the death zone, as the name suggests once you enter the last 1,000 metres your chances of death increase exponentially, with every step you take towards the summit.

So why do people do it?

Well they say that you are most alive when you are closest to death, you feel an amazing sense of joy, achievement, and the thrill of life envelopes you. I would love to get the chance to climb Mount Everest; it would be an amazing thrill. I doubt it will ever happen since you need large amounts of money, plus you need to gain experience on other mountains. Nicking a quote from a film I have just watched; “Good judgement comes from experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.” Which I think is very apt when talking about climbing Mount Everest.

Even experienced climbers with years of climbing high mountains can concede defeat to its might. I have watched many documentaries about the great mountain, and it fascinates me how when the hypoxia starts to kick in from lack of Oxygen, how uncooperative people become as if they want to die. It reminds me of the irrational mania I feel sometimes.

I suppose I will just have to dream about climbing the great mountain as it is too expensive, maybe I can one day take a journey to Base Camp, and have a trek across the Himalayas that would be cool also.

Climbing Mount Everest, and seeing Planet Earth from space are two things I would love to achieve before I die, it is likely I will not achieve either, but it does not stop me dreaming, hoping that one day I will. My other dream is to write a book worthy of being published, which seems quite a bit easier compared to my other two.

The days, The days

The days, the days, the blissful days,

The nights of warmth and love,

The days, a phase, a loving haze,

A picture in ones heart.



The days, the days, the miserable days,

The nights of wind and rain,

The days, it says, too full of craze,

Are ripped out from the start.



The days, the days, the thoughtful days,

The nights of contemplation,

The days, it lays, perfect in praise,

Imagination took its part.



The days, the days, the dreadful days,

The nights of worry and stress,

The days, they raise, a complex maze,

To terrible to forget.

Interesting Panorama Documentary about WikiLeaks

I’ll be honest I haven’t delved much into the world of WikiLeaks, but I was interested to watch the Panorama doc about it. It’s a strange one, and in a way one of those particular problems we face in the world society today. We would love everything to be open and for everyone to have equality, no one to have ultimate power and the people having the right to freedom. But how do we do this and what is the cost in trying to achieve it? I liked the idea, the concept of WikiLeaks and what it stood for, and I hope over time it will start to force a change with other similar sites in the ideology of the world. It may stamp out conspiracy theorists, and some of their ideas, but it seemed to me, although the idea is to bring about freedom, and level out the playing field, spread out the power in the long term. In a way it has in itself become one of those power brokers, it was originally designed to stop. As one person said on the show, pioneers never get things right straight away, and maybe over time they will sort this issue out. Where do you draw the line though? Yes I want to see transparency, but I don’t and I am sure most of the people on the planet, don’t want to see the innocent get hurt and maybe killed, because of the releasing of delicate information.


Data and information are power, and as the future unfolds this power base will increase, we don’t want to ever get to ultimate power. Why? Well we all know the answer to that one, ULTIMATE POWER CORRUPTS ULTIMATELY!!!

Finding Happy Mediums

First of all I am not talking about looking for cheerful psychics, I mean finding away to control my desire to either do something to excess or to not do it at all. I can give two examples here food and exercise, I either do tonnes of exercise, so much so I become in a way addicted for a short period of time. When this happens, I can easily play two games of squash, go on a bike ride for 30 miles, then do some weights, maybe walk another few miles, whatever. It seems that any amount of exercise is never enough exercise, this in turn makes me lose lots of weight, I can go from 100kg to 90 kg in the space of two weeks, no problem. I then start to get down to about 86 - 88kg and I find I cannot exist on the amounts of food I am eating, so steadily I eat more and more food, and I do more and more exercise, without losing any weight and for a brief period of time my weight stabilises at around 90-92kg. I know this because it has been happening definitely for the last eight years of my life. Before then it was probably more erratic and the time periods were longer.


Now when it is in the stable phase, it is not really stable, all that is happening is that I am eating so much food and doing so much exercise they cancel each other out. The problem is I start to eat the wrong types of food because I forget, and feel well it doesn’t matter if I have a burger or a pizza, or three or four bags of crisps, it won’t hurt if I eat a whole packet of biscuits or a bar of chocolate. Eventually though, I cannot sustain the level of exercise and I become bored with doing it and it is difficult and everything becomes laborious. I become more tired, and more restless at the same time as now the ease of life disappears. I stop going to the gym as much, or when the weather is bad I get the bus instead of walking or using my bike. I play less squash and slowly the weight starts to rise. I will have moments when I do more exercise but overall the levels decrease rapidly.

Then I get to the situation I found myself in three weeks ago, I feel fat, overweight, lethargic, and more self conscious, less happy, more disturbed. And it reaches a point where I am shocked into a change, normally when I weigh myself and the level is around 100kg. And then the cycle starts again, less food is the first thing, then more exercise and more and more and more, so far in the last week I have lost 6kg, and one day played squash for around 3 hours, I have played squash every day since then for at least an hour, and did weights, walked everywhere, as well as going out on my bike even when the weather is crap. For some reason exercise is much easier now than it was six weeks ago, instead of saying no I won’t bother, I now go twice, and I know this is only the beginning. So how do I stop the cycle, I don’t know at the moment because every time I have been in this situation I have asked myself the same question. Maybe writing it down will help, who knows.

24 Hours without being - Coerced, Duped, Cajoled, Taken In

Why is it humans find it very difficult to see or notice or act against clearly harmful and divisive situations or circumstances. Before I continue I will openly admit I definitely fall into this category, I have been coerced, duped, cajoled, taken in and been quite obviously gullible to various things. Whether they are people, groups, events, products, view points, etc, etc, I could go on and on but I hope you know what I mean. I know I have been susceptible to these things in the past. I would like to think I am less susceptible now, but then that would be still falling into the gullible category. I am quite sure if the seemingly right whatever came along, and I was positively charged towards it, and it turned out to be rubbish, baseless, and unfounded or disruptive and negative, I would be fooled for a period of time. Until I realised this, I would be stuck in that paradoxical situation of believing utter crap, until I either woke up or mass change in awareness of said rubbish changed me; if that makes sense.


That in mind, it seems to me that although I can see this fault in myself, and in human nature, or at least try to avoid the situations causing it, trying to see right from wrong, many others in fact most others do not. Is it the fear of being different to the crowd, being the voice against something even when it is bad or destructive? The desire to conform and be part of something, to be like everyone else that makes this sort of thing happen, probably. Maybe it is the fear of retribution, causing pain and misery. Or that if one does not follow said process, love ones may be hurt.

The problem I see is that the more you pander to this philosophy the worse it becomes over time, if you take a prime example from the last 100 years; Adolf Hitler and the Nazi’s. Surely when they were brawling in beer houses, and ending up arrested for violence; this sort of behaviour should not have been allowed to be the basis of a political party and then government. When they banned Jews from nearly everything, and decided to build detention centres (concentration camps) and increase paranoia, this would wake up the more moral and intelligent people of Germany. Yet it didn’t, in fact it had the opposite effect. When Hitler started to invade countries, though peacefully at first, did people not think, this was not going to end well? Obviously they did not, and now we can say well the times and the situation the Germans found themselves in after WWI, they actively encouraged it. They wanted war to begin with, they wanted vengeance on others and they were quite willing to be subdued, coerced, duped, cajoled and taken in, by one of the evilest men in history and his evil Nazi Party. Even when things started going badly for Germany, and any sane country would surrender, they did not, they continued this madness for years, until finally when they were utterly destroyed, nearly erased from the map, virtually nothing, did the insanity end. You could argue old Germany was essentially obliterated from existence, then after all that death and destruction, did people finally realise.

This happens all the time, the nuclear arms race was another prime example, the US with help from many other countries, design and build the most dangerous and destructive weapon ever. They are forced to use this weapon against another deluded country Japan, to avoid millions of deaths. It is a horrible weapon, then again all weapons are horrible, it does not just kill, it maims and causes mutation and poisoning for anyone unlucky enough to be within its grasp and survive. Yet we do not think oh well lets only keep a couple of these destructive beasts, so as to stop further bloodshed in future no, that would be too simple. One paranoid deluded side decides they might use them against us, and we need to build nuclear weapons of our own, OK fine build a few for yourself, if I have some you can have some. That is not enough, we need bigger ones and more, so the arms race begins and trillions of dollars are wasted building evil, we never ever want to use. How barmy is that? And even today when we have a little more sense we are still building these weapons, because we are subdued, coerced, duped, cajoled and taken in, made to believe they are necessary, maybe a couple are, maybe ten each. But who are we going to use them against?

I could go on to talk about Governments, Religions, Corporations, Conglomerates, Banks, and even Climate Change, they all follow the same pattern, the only difference is that most do not classify them in the same way.

The same words can be used for all, subdued, coerced, duped, cajoled and taken in, and the end result is that millions of people die, millions more live in misery and the world gets sicker and sicker.

I wonder what would happen if for 24 hours everything was seen as it should be seen; I mean the true purpose behind everything on this planet. The real reason religions act the way they do, the truth behind whether climate change is real or not, or whether it is the pollution and greed of wealthy corporations that is the real danger. What is the true purpose of our governments is it to help its people or to help itself. I wonder if people had this moment of clarity, for 24 hours, what would it mean, and would they do anything about it, or would they fall back to their subdued, coerced, duped, cajoled lives and just accept it.

Sanity is Insanity

Can you trust your mind?

Can you trust all that you see?

When you know that everything,

Is what makes reality?



Can you see past the illusion?

Can you see inside your soul?

Do you suffer from confusion?

Does it feel like a Black Hole?



When the mist it fades away,

And you see more than the masses,

Does it suddenly make you crazy?

Or that others need the glasses?



When insanity is encouraged,

And the sane do foolish things,

Will we ever find equality?

To enjoy the flourishing it will bring.

Mubarak has $70 Billion in Swiss Banks

I read this morning that deposed dictator Mubarak has had his $70 Billion seized by Swiss banks. What a sick world we live in, where people like this can get away with keeping tens of millions of people in poverty, whilst they cream off millions and billions of dollars for themselves and their crony friends. To make matters worse, the greedy bastard may get to keep his loot.


These are the sorts of things that need to be changed about the world, and I am not just talking about Egypt, the Middle East or even greedy tyrannical dictators. I am talking about the wealthy billionaires of the world that hoard all this wealth and do nothing to help the world’s poor, needy and sick. They encourage misery for so many people, and they get away with it all the time. Why? Because they have so much bloody money, they can literately do what they want. So now the poor hard done to, ex President Mubarak, ah poor you, you have been deposed by your country, the one you have bled dry for decades, but hey at least you get a nice $70 Billion fortune to keep you company in which ever country you exile to, its sick.

I see demonstrations are starting to gain weight all over North Africa and the Middle East, I just hope those Islamic nut jobs don’t get too much hold. When times are bad people turn to either the exact opposite, or to extremism, I read Islamic demonstrations were happening in Jordon, that is not a good sign.

Algeria is starting demonstrations, they have been forced to live in a state of emergency since 1992; I cannot even imagine what that must be like for the people of that country. How can you live a happy, peaceful, existence, if you are in constant fear of incrimination, imprisonment, torture, and even death? It must just be absolute hell.

Then there is hell itself, otherwise known as Sudan, I see protesters were beaten to death and the chancellor of the University was sacked (I bet that really means imprisoned and tortured) because the demonstrators were students. Damn them students for wanting to be educated and find a better life.

Even in Gaddafi Duck’s Libya, (I cannot believe he is still in power) demonstrations are mounting.

Why can’t there be some finite ruling time around the world, we have peace accords and humanitarian agreements, we even have The Geneva Convention and it protocols on how to conduct war. Which if you think about it logically it utterly ludicrous, we are so depraved, as a society, so evil, so deranged we need laws on how to kill each other humanely. How sad is that?

If it is wrong to commit murder, and it is wrong to commit rape and steal as an individual, why isn’t it wrong for a country to do the same? Why isn’t it wrong for a country to systematically kill thousands or even millions of people, or even keep them in poverty, misery and virtual slavery, most of its population, whilst some greedy, evil, fat cats, at the top cream of billions for themselves.

This applies to the whole world everywhere. Nearly every country in the world has this situation, on a varying scale, from extremely dreadful to just dreadful. Yet no one does anything about it, well it won’t be long before the demonstrations spread beyond the extremely poor, obvious dictatorships, and onto the not so poor, not so obvious dictatorships. Battlefield Earth is only just beginning, its next phase in evolution. It is likely to be the bloodiest phase of all.

Good Luck Egypt

I see today Egypt through peaceful, public, demonstration, and technology, stopped being a dictatorship and entered an uncertain grey area between the tyranny of the past and whatever may come of the future. Many countries have entered this state; let’s hope it starts a peaceful movement towards harmony in the Middle East. As one news correspondent said tonight, “I bet Gaddafi of Libya, Assad of Syria and Ahmadinejad of Iran are quaking in their respective boots, having nightmares about what is surely about to come to their tyrannical regimes”.


The problem is always what happens next, we always have this wave of optimism after such events and many times we have been blessed with positive change, but will it be that easy in the Middle East with the giant thorn in any long term peace, namely Israel.

I think the words of the late great John Lennon are appropriate here.

Imagine there's no countries,

It isn't hard to do,

Nothing to kill or die for,

And no religion too,

Imagine all the people,

Living life in peace.



I never realised until recently the beauty and incredible foresight of those words, and as he also says, he is a dreamer but he is definitely not the only one. I also hope that the world can live as one.

Good Luck Egypt, you are going to need it.

Always Try

When all is said and done,

And all the lights they fade away,

No more moonlight, no more sun,

Only your legacy is left in play.



Will you pass into myth and legend?

Will your name stand all alone?

Will your triumphs be the greatest?

Will your failures be stepping stones?



Will you leave behind a future?

Something better than before,

History good enough to cherish,

To remember always, forever more.



If this is you, then you are lucky,

If this is you, you should be praised,

If it is not, then try to emulate,

If it is not, try just in case.

Lingering Light

I feel the demon dragging me there,

Pulling harder, faster, ever downwards,

I sense I’m sinking deeper and deeper,

Thrashing, lashing, smashing, dashing,

I try so hard to stop from drowning,

Fighting stronger tides I struggle,

I see above a lingering light,

As I descend to blackness and despair.

Is Life Death and is Death Life

Is life death and is death life,

Maybe that is so,

Life is pain, life is misery,

Death is peace, death is forgiveness,

Life is torture and unhappiness,

Death is the inauguration of the release,

Life is cruel, and life is malevolent,

Death brings new beginnings,

Life it twists you, a vindictive entanglement,

Death it sets you free,

Yet we love and cherish life, we want it so so much,

But fear death, it is the greatest challenge of the unknown,

Instead maybe we should, most definitely,

Fear accursed life and all its malice,

Yet love and want death, for what it may show us,

For the beginning of death and the end of life,

Might truly actually and justly be,

The beginning of life, and the end of death, and the start of eternity.

Musical type verse (with no title)

Don't know what made me think of this, but it is a sort of musical type verse, a bit like what you would hear in 'Oliver!'.  Something I imagine Fagen would sing, with a sinister edge.  It needs a bit of work now I have read it back a few times but I quite like it. 

It sort of goes da de da, de da de da, if you know what I mean.


Does one feel alive inside,

Does one need to show their pride?

Can one use this all to hide?

Or will you sense apparent slide?

Motivation may provide,

Depth of feeling may subside,

Just because you may have died,

Never to give in.



I can see you standing there,

You just seem full of despair,

If you try you may repair,

Then finally someone may care,

Hope to god they will be fair,

You may not trust, you may beware,

Lest you try and lest you dare,

Maybe you will win.



Terrible feelings have you faced,

Against the storm you have been braced,

Forced to fight in such great haste,

Love and peace you want to taste,

Add emotions cut and paste,

Everyone you shouldn’t waste,

Happiness it has been traced,

Somewhere deep inside.



Finally you realise,

All this time you have despised,

Deeply hurt and criticised,

Half in dream world mesmerised,

Can you break out and finalise,

Use your gifts to utilise,

Now it’s time you must revise,

Before it’s all too late.