Who knows! What the hell! Never sell snake oil to a con man!

Dead head!  Not alive he said,

Fed a fool full of empty promises,

Considered whether it was right,

Never understood why it could be wrong,

Is this a true actuality, a reasonable definite reality?

However brief the stay, cannot delay the inevitable,

Ha, you might say to that, was it the decision you could undertake,

As a black cat running right under a speeding car, how bizarre,

A penance of sorts, settled out of the courts, got any thoughts,

Whatever this might all mean, who knows perhaps it is just quaintly obscene! 

Successful self-pity and moping!!!

There is nothing one can do, but look on at the passing days with invigorating wonderment, and splendour,

Is this true, can it be that easy?

See the passage of time, notice the moment, feel the presence of something more than just a one foot in front of the other action,

Today is always now, there is never tomorrow, there is never yesterday, what is wrong with me, why do I let this pass me by,

I know what to do but an unable to do it, am I stupid, am I afraid, am I just not good enough?

Constant grief, a never ending pain, a nightmare of consequences, suffering, endless, eternal,

Sadness, a sense of not knowing if there will ever be something else, a reason to surge onwards and try to break the barriers holding me back,

Why can I not break them?

Alas, this is the difficult part, to want to go; however, I am unable to go, or even try to go,

Perhaps one day I will break free and fly like a bird out of my cage and into the green and pleasant land,

To know what it is like to accept and rationalise my existence, is that actually possible, or is it just a confused pipe dream,

Can I climb the highest mountain and swim the greatest ocean, run through fields of wheat and smell the fresh sea air,

Or will I fade away into nothingness, without anything to show for my life, I pitiful mess, that perhaps had a hope to succeed one time in the distant past,

When one was young, before being twisted and crushed, before being broken and lost,

Will I walk the streets as an old man, slowly, Zimmer Frame holding me crooked, shaking, with no one to help me when I fall,

Wanting to die, hoping it will happen soon, quickly, without any fuss, without any pain, quietly fade away, as a shadow lost in darkness. 

Raging Restlessness, Continual Consternation,

My mind is a swirling,

Ideas are whirling,

My brain is unfurling,

Consciousness curling,

Throwing and hurling,

Can I stop what I’m doing?

Slow down the pursuing,

Concentrate and breath,

Do not self-deceive,

Control the belief,

It may give some relief,

But the mind will not stop,

It’s so tired it will drop,

Oh sleep would be nice,

Just once perhaps twice,

Instead I continue,

My body a sinew,

If only it would end,

It might feel heaven sent,

I hope this will work,

Now its not a joke,

Before I erupt,

I am really stumped!

I am not sure if you could call what I write poetry.  It is a blast from my mind, straight onto the page; I do not really think about it, it just happens.  I wonder, do professional poets take an age to write their poetry, do they sit and ponder every word, I presume some do.  This is why I do not classify my verse as poetry; it is just lines of thought.

The Crazy World Called Earth

There is a crazy world out there,

So strange, varied, unusual,

Makes you wonder if anyone cares,

Perhaps most are just fools,

Do I really care if someone dies,

In another part of this great Earth,

Should I really care if someone lies,

As my belly jiggles with laughter and mirth,

Damn those bastards who make me think,

Force me to have a conscience,

To realise that this world stinks,

Bloody ridiculous and full of nonsense,

If I could live with my head in the sand,

Play dead, pretend it’s happy smelling of roses,

But you cannot in this outrageous land,

Because simply put, it’s too preposterous.

An Urban Myth

Ah society, society, what on Earth could you be,

Are you just humanity, striving to accept reality,

Perhaps you are an infestation,

A constant influx, an infiltration,

Burning, boring, through our minds,

Delving deeper, what can you find,

Followers following devious deceivers,

Castigating non-believers,

Jumped on-board the ship of fools,

Idealistic fervent tools,

Mindless, thoughtless, unfortunately populous,

Pretends to be above all else,

What can we do to change this state,

To end societies truly miserable fate. 

Do conscious thoughts already exist or not?

I am sitting here wondering, pondering, thoughts; I love thoughts, especially creative unusual ones.  They define us and make us unique; of course, the big question is why we have thoughts, beyond the normal parameters of conscious thinking.  If, as I have mentioned before, dark energy (whatever the accumulation of the stuff pushing the known universe apart actually might be) is a by-product of consciousness, which has been through evolution expanding our universe – how do we get them.  If that makes sense, the question I ask myself, is if the infinitiverse is always everything that can be, as well as continuously growing and multiplying using evolution.  If all the conscious thoughts that can be thought, are they already thought, and if they are already thought, what does this mean.  If this all seems too crazy and out there beyond the box and whatever else we imagine as reality, then what else could be happening.

Wow, I can write some waffle at times.  Weirdness seems to flow from my typing like water gushing from a leak.

However, it does make me think or does it, perhaps I am not thinking it at all, my mind is just going through a preordained sequence of events, like the motion of the cogs in clockwork.  Now I think further, I will at least consider it as thinking for now, what happens to the trillions of thoughts neglected or considered not worthy of recognition by my subconscious, before the conscious had a chance to get in on the act.  What if those subconscious thoughts are in fact being recognised by another me, in another realm or dimension, or whatever you want to call it.  In addition, can the thoughts I may or may not have used, for better or for worse, can another  different person use them now. 

Now I think further on from thinking further on this weird subject, since many people do have similar thoughts, then it is very likely slight differences are there for everyone to utilise, and everyone has the capability to manifest the same thought.  However, the brain is not capable of selecting every thought because there are so many (even a billion potential conscious thoughts would create a multitude of actual responses, think what it would be like with a trillion trillion).  This means that even though everyone has a brain capable of using every thought, since there are so many it is impossible for a brain (or conscious thought device or whatever else can be used to create a conscious thought) to consider every thought to ever be used, this will help to keep evolutionary diversity. 

I think I have just contradicted myself in the last chapter, let me try to make it simple, let me see now…

Everything in the infinitiverse is interconnected.  In our realty of the infinitiverse, which we call the universe, energy has transformed into many different forms; some collaborate and create our brain.  Our brain is a super computer the most brilliant, incredible device known to exist in our reality.  The brain uses the energy existing in our reality to create a mind with conscious thought.  Back to my question, are the conscious thoughts out there as energy for us to pluck into existence, like taking an apple from a tree?  Alternatively, are they there being created by the brain as new never existed before entities.  You would think that our brain using our minds creates the thoughts, but it is not very practical or economic to do that in this reality.  It is more likely they already exist in the form of an unknown energy that has some connection to dark matter and dark energy. 

I think they are out there already, perhaps not as conscious thoughts, but as energy with a code ingrained inside every form it can manifest.  We use this code and we call it evolution, I suspect the code is the most complex sequence imaginable and some more.  This code is what creates the universe, it also created atoms, dark matter, dark energy, and of course consciousness.  It is something we cannot explain and we will never understand (at least not for a long, long time), it is beyond mathematics.  It is the purest of the pure.  Anyway, the conscious thoughts that brought me to this out of the box post are fading faster than morning mist, and I will leave it there.

The Decision, Before the Act

What be the reason, as she stands there,

A look of puzzlement on her fair face,

Golden blonde hair waving defiantly,

One eye, open wide, a gaze so bright,

Finger on pursed lips, flame red delight,

What is she thinking? Other hand on hip,

Should she cross over to the other side?

She looks so pensive, she cannot decide,

One eye all glazed, a tear has fallen,

Perhaps she wondering as she ponders stallin’,

Should she really go through with this?

Would it not be better just to miss?

But melancholy, is in her head,

She found it so hard to leave her bed,

Now she knows she has the strength to see,

What she feels will set her free,

To take the plunge and not look back,

And fuck those bastards for what they lack,

She wipes away her salty tears,

She knows that she has nothing to fear,

This is her time; she knows it to be true,

With that, one step forward and a big fuck you!