Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Something or Nothing

Does one’s life end, when one’s energy has run out?
When the body has lost its motor,  
When the soul has gone, raced away, if one ever had one,
When the twinkle in one’s eye has turned into a milky pale,
When all that is left is a body; cold, rigid, a slab of emptiness,
Is it possible, something unknown, unclear, perhaps unworldly moves onwards?
Ascending to another realm,
Taking one’s conscious energy, one’s self dominion, beyond,
How does this happen?  Does it happen to all?
Can one buy a passage upwards to this great hall?
On the other hand, perhaps,
Does one just fade away whence one came?
Just like a onetime flame,
Burning bright, strong of heart, full of energy, heat and desire,
Nevertheless, limited, finite, knowing it will fade away,
Gone forever, never to return, short, once pure,
A tiny diamond gem eventually crushed and destroyed,
A unique supernova of existence, and creation embraced.

Tuesday, 14 May 2013

Painting - The Red One

I could not help myself, I had a green one, and a blue one, so I decided to create a red one too.  It looks a bit grim, it will definitely change as I don't like it.  Still its a start.

Painting - The Big Bang

This is my largest painting; I have debated whether to add it to my blog because as you can see it is not finished, it does not look as unfinished in the flesh.  Still it is obvious once I had photographed it.  It hangs in my bedroom, I stare at it every morning, and I wonder when the desire to finish will come back to me.  I wonder if it should just stay as it is.  Perhaps one day the urge will be too great and I will continue onwards.  It is a good example of a painting, which for three days solid captivated me, then it became tedious and I could not continue, I tried but whatever energy was inside me when I decided what I wanted to create had left, it has never returned.

Thursday, 9 May 2013

The Infinite Entity

Thinking further about the Infinite Entity, yes I like that, the Infinite Entity, it includes our Universe, our reality, our dimensions, our whatever, it basically includes everything.  What could it be?  We know it likes energy; we know it can through randomness, create various forms using this energy.  It seems to be growing, and is likely to be so large as to seem infinite to us, on Planet Earth.  Does this mean our Infinite Entity is in fact finite?  We will never know this.  We live in the entity, perhaps we are part of the entity.  It is likely we are the entity.  We know that, what we call the universe is part of the entity, though I imagine a miniscule, itsy bitsy, teeny-weeny, minute, smaller than a trillionth of a quark, possibly so small not even to register as existing - is that small enough.

We are small, but that is not relevant, since that is not how the Infinite Entity works.  Yes, there is a mechanism to how it exists, there has to be, but the mechanism is a nonstandard one, the same as evolution is a nonstandard mechanism.  The Infinite Entity is greedy, it gobbles up energy and spits it out in many forms, which make it grow and grow.  It must grow in ever more elaborate ways.  Does this mean at one time back when it was a baby, was the Infinite Entity less complex, and I do not mean like the standard model of cosmology.  I mean long before the big bang and the beginning of space-time, let us call it Infinite Entity Time, IET.  When IET was less than a second old, what was it then.  What if there was no time whatsoever, what if the Infinite Entity was never young, never a second old, what if it is just everything always.

If the Infinite Entity is everything always, well this opens up many new avenues.  It would be difficult to imagine what everything happening at once, always constantly, infinitely, would be like.  Now that I think about it, I have tried to imagine this before.  What was it I said, let me think, I think I said; imagine a road that is infinitely long, and infinitely wide.  It has an infinite number of roads stacked one on top of the other, in both directions.  Each road has an infinite number of Russian Dolls, all standing one against the other in all directions.  Each doll has an infinite number of pieces inside and out and all this is growing at an infinite rate.  The dolls are moving along the road and as they move, every moment that passes creates an infinite number of new dolls on new roads.  Now I will add that inside each doll more than one thing is happening at the same time.  As well as new pieces of the Russian Doll, new roads are created (I am trying to keep it simple, roads and dolls are just manifestations of everything that can possibly be created). 

If one were to take a human life as a different example, I would imagine that as every moment passes every possible action or cause will happen.  On top of this every reaction or effect will also happen.  You could take it further by saying that the same would be true of everything on Planet Earth.  Every atom, every cell, every rock, every inner core, every water molecule, you get the drill.  It just happens that what we see is one likely outcome out of an infinite number.  The question must be what is going on in the other infinite moments.  Through a law of everything does the entity choose the best moment, or are all moments happening at the same time, which I think is true.  Who knows?  I wonder, if it was true that every moment of the Infinite Entity was happening at the same time, whether one path or destiny, fate whatever you want to call it, is yours, or can one change it.  I suppose then one may argue that if the change occurred, then that was the actual destiny anyway.  Umm I could waffle on about this infinitely, haha, but I will leave it there.

Monday, 6 May 2013

Winter and Summer

I am not sure if this is because the paint is drying, or that my mind is adjusting to whichever painting I desire at the time (in a purely aesthetic way).  Nevertheless, I have painted or should I say splashed colour on canvas numerous times recently and whether the time of day, or my emotional state, or whatever, I like each one at different times, for different reasons.  I now see my swirling chaos painting as a harsh antithesis of my Four Elements painting (I need to find a better name for that painting, perhaps I will just call it The Antithesis).  Whereas I used careful brush strokes, which took a great deal of time and concentration for the Four Elements, the opposite is true for the chaos of its twin.

The painting above which has no name I thought it reminded me of winter, and I have added its twin below, which I will now call summer.  In normal light, it does not seem very good, it is just a spatula scrapped across cheap canvas, but when the lights are on at night, the different colours of blue draw you in.  It feels like I am walking through an ice sheet.  The painting comes alive at least it does in my mind, but I wonder is this because the paint is still fresh and has not dried yet. 

In contrast, the Antithesis painting improves at it dries, with every day that passes I like it ever more.  However when I compare the Four Elements with the Antithesis, I am starting to prefer my newer panting and seeing the faults of my older work.
The two paintings I called Cool and Warm, I am starting to dislike immensely, I will have to change them or move them soon.  My Volcanic Ocean, is just practice, it changes ever so slightly when I feel I want to add a bit of red here, or dab some blue there.  Perhaps its need a flurry of white or a thrust of orange, I just like the idea of sections, joined as one yet separate.  The colours merging through each canvas, I just like that concept.  I still want to in case the six segments in a black wood frame as if looking out a black window.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that as I look at the various creative noises I have produced recently, I am noticing the changes more, even the subtle ones, and I find it fascinating.  It is like they are alive as they change, the metamorphoses is constant.

Painting is excellent therapy, and the internet gives a reason to practice painting, which means one can at least pretend to be an artist.  This creates a very convenient and helpful loop.  The urge to post a painting is increasing, at least it is at present, so I paint more, I do not care if they are good or bad, I just want to add them. 

There is only one tiny problem with painting more, I will have to buy more canvases, and they are not cheap unfortunately.

Wednesday, 1 May 2013


This is just a storm, a raging storm, uncontrollable, unknowable.  It may change over time if and when I get bored of it.

The Ship

This painting has changed many times.  It is now a ship sailing towards hell.