Thursday, 30 September 2010

Surviving Purgatory

Eternal blackness covers a land ahead of time and space. A dense mass of infinite nothingness, unseen, unknown, hidden, as a shadow lost in darkness.

Jagged rocks surround the cruel seas, serrated edges; piercing points of death cover its shores. Nothing lives here; nothing can survive its torture and torment, the land is full of malice and anguish.

Above the skies radiate hell, lighting scars, dark clouds foreboding. Silence so intense, it would pain the senses, between the roars of thunderous, murderous rage.

Ice rain falls, blasting the land continually, colder than the absolute of zero, destroying mortality. Nothing can escape the impending doom, the ferocious peril and desperation of the malevolence, the decrepit evil that waits.

Yet through this as effortless as a bird in flight, as delicate as a petal, a pureness prevails, and does not die away. This light, this beauty, this freeness of will, survives the brutal encounter. Endures the wicked cruelty of this land, suffers its pain, suffers its sadness, for a short while.

Then fading, not able to stand the excruciating gloom, and the depth of loss, it succumbs, and fades away forever. Yet a change falls on the evil land, the eternal blackness slowly wanes, slowly disappears and crashes into the sea.

Gone forever is the land of hellish nightmares, gone forever, never able to return, drowned below the infinite sea of hope and light, gone for all eternity.

Saturday, 25 September 2010

Chaos and Confusion

I think I have elaborated on this before but it is a fundamental issue in today’s society. We humans especially the ones living in the developed world, with our 50” LED’s, iPads, and smart phones, home computers with terabytes of hard drive space and 50 meg download speeds, blu-ray disc’s, internet, several hundred TV channels, as well as the good old fashioned newspaper, magazines, and whatever else people use to gather information. We are all lost in chaos and confusion.

Without realising it, we are constantly bombarded with masses of data, information, knowledge, some good, but most of it BS. No wonder we don’t know what is going on, we are told so many view points, so many differing opinions, most of us just switch off to it all. It’s like trying to hearing a conversion whilst standing on the dance floor with loud music blaring around you, in the middle of an earthquake. It is insane, but that is exactly how they want it to be, they don’t want you to know the truth, they don’t want you to have time to listen to all arguments objectively. They want you confused, bewildered, lost in an ocean of possibilities, unable to find the correct route home. Imagine if we were able to find a truth machine and we allowed it to sift through the masses of rubbish bombarded at us every day. I wonder how much of the supposed truth would be actually true. It is so easy to convince humans of ideas and concepts; it is so simple to make you believe what they want you to believe. Just look at our history it has been done since civilisation began. Looking truthful is better than being truthful. It gets to a point when people start to become more paranoid and sometimes radical ideas that are so unrealistic and false, totally inconceivable that anyone would be crazy to believe them, suddenly take hold. They fester underneath, hidden slowly gaining power and over time more and more people believe them until this idea becomes mainstream, and starts to cause devastation and destruction. These ideas are generally bad ideas, wrong ideas, and the future of our planet is placed in jeopardy because of them.

We live in a time when bad ideas are allowed to grow far quicker than in the past, more people hear them, and more people believe them. Why do we believe them? We believe them because we are confused and surrounded by chaos; we are brought up in fear. We are controlled and forced to believe what we are told. Yet most of what we are told is lies, or dumbed down versions of the truth, deliberately formulated to keep us all in line.

I wish someone would invent a BS machine and let it see the mess our world lives in.

Friday, 24 September 2010

Lost in a Strange Land

I am an alien, an alien lost in a strange land, surrounded by desert, smothered in confusion. I do not see what others see, I do not hear what others hear, my mind perplexes as to why this may be. Why is it I see what others do not see, why is it, that I feel and sense what others seem to miss? I wish I knew, I wish I could understand what it is, and why it is so difficult for me to be like everyone else.

I puzzle and wonder how the rest survive, how do they allow this plane existence to prevail, they do nothing to change it. Do they not want to change it? Is it easier to accept the unacceptable, is it easier to appreciate the mediocrity of life, to switch off the morbid sense of dread until your time comes and you pass into the next world.

Do others wait in hope that the next world will be better, will give them what they desire? So they suffer and conform, they forget and show no resistance, they allow the situation to envelope their minds, their souls.

Or is it just, that I am an alien, and I am the only one that feels this way, that wants to break free of this restraint, wants to rise like a phoenix from the flames, to accomplish more than my peers. To live a life of fulfilment, and joy, to see all I want to see, and cherish it forever. Yet it is me the alien who is not satisfied, and without hope, full of sadness, I weep at my misfortune and my misgivings. My waste of life, my endless faults, and insurmountable goals, are they too much to ask for? Why should I settle for less? Why should I not want to achieve the highest levels of success, and do more than anyone ever imagined, is this too much to ask?

Yet I am the alien, not like the rest, the outcast, the weird one, alone, without success. Maybe I yearn for too much; maybe I should just be like the rest, maybe I should just accept that life is like that and be happy with it. No never! I will never be happy with such a life, I will always be sad; I will always be lonely, unless I break through and fight past my struggle to succeed. Never to give up, always to fight on and on, until I have no breath left in my body.

The day you give up and accept a lesser life, is the day you die inside, it is the day you fail yourself and who you are and what you are capable of, it is the day you say goodbye.

Thursday, 23 September 2010

How lucky are we?

You can look at your life in many different ways, but here is one way I am sure many others have thought about and many more haven’t.

We are incredibly lucky; we have been blessed with an evolutionary advantage higher than any other living species we are aware of, but do we really feel lucky? I have to be honest I don’t feel lucky most of the time, I never win the lottery or if I do it’s only the smallest sum. I haven’t been lucky in love, or lucky in having an amazing gift or talent. Then again is this sort of luck a shallow version of it, should we not perceive luck differently. I am alive and I live in a nice part of the world, I have a roof over my head and I have good health, is that lucky? Is it if you compare me to someone living in the third world? You could go further and say well even people living in the third world, they are lucky compared to say the Dinosaurs or other extinct species, they have less luck than humans in the developed world, but at least they are humans. They have the gift of thought and self awareness, would we say that is lucky? You could say that having those gifts when living in extreme poverty is more of a curse than a gift so not lucky after all, since they have little or no chance to fully use their advantage for anything more than survival.

We know you don’t need self awareness and a conscience to survive, most animals don’t have these evolutionary advantages, but you could say they are lucky to be alive and not extinct, though I would suspect the Tiger in Bengal may not feel so lucky as its population decreases, or the Veal Calf as it travels to its imminent death. Then again it does not know it’s going to die, it is a dumb animal breed as food; is the calf lucky to have lived at all or unlucky? Is an antelope jumping merrily across the African savannah lucky, and is it unlucky when a pride of Lions catch it and eat it alive? Luck is relative.

We humans alive today can be perceived as being lucky, our ancestors have survived disease, and hardships we could only imagine. We have survived the constant changes in culture, religion, leadership, and the awful consequences all of those have had on certain parts of the population. We have survived war, famine, conquest, and climate change, hotter or colder. Our ancestors were strong enough to live long enough to pass on their code; they were not badly injured or lame, disabled or impaired. They survived prejudice, and likely they were conformists.

If we go further back, our distant ancestors were good hunters or gathers, they could stay warm and find food, they survived long ice ages, and were not eaten by carnivorous animals. Further back before we were even humans, we survived many extinction events, from asteroids, comets, super volcanoes, tsunamis, earthquakes, and of course colder ice ages. It is quite amazing if you look back on the history of the planet and think what are the chances of all those factors happening to let you live today. We could go further and say we are lucky that our planet was able to stabilise enough to support life. That we were fortunate to have a nice Mars sized object hit Earth, to give us our Moon. That our Sun was the right size, so it burned its fuel at a rate that meant it lasted billions of years instead of millions. That our Sun happened to find itself, lost, alone far away from the billions of other stars, so we have night and day and not just constant day. I could go on and on but I think I have made my point. We are lucky, I think we need to start to realise it. Maybe if we think positively about how lucky we are, this luck will continue and maybe if we are really lucky, it will give us a portion of luck we actually want and would appreciate. Otherwise we waste this luck, we waste what it has taken to receive this luck, and that would be a shame.

It is hard at times to appreciate how lucky we are, I know I find it difficult, and I find it even harder when I see what others have. I don’t mean the few who have more; I mean the billions who have less, the ones who should feel lucky to be humans, alive today in this world of plenty, but who aren’t. Can we ever make luck fairer or it that impossible, or do we need to recognise that luck does not exist, and it is just the circumstance of reality. You can either attempt to better yourself and your circumstance or you can just accept it.

Anyway to everyone out there I wish you all good luck.

Sunday, 19 September 2010

History Fact or Fiction

When you look back on the whole of history, you have to ask yourself, was it actually like that? We all know the age old saying history is written by the winners, but it’s more than that. History was written by no one, it was passed on by word of mouth and you know how quickly humans embellish stories. We should be wary of ancient wisdom, and I am not just talking about the Bible, I mean anything from longer than about 400 years ago. I expect that most of the events we cherish throughout the vast history of humanity or at least civilised humanity actually happened. Though I expect most of it was nothing like it is portrayed, I find it amusing how certain documentary channels seem to love to recreate events as if they were fact and definite in history. Nearly all of these tales are stories, myths, legends, with probably a tiny element of truth in them. I saw a program that tried to say David and Goliath was a real event. They also did a tall tale about Joshua and the fall of Jericho, and they mix these tales in with Caesar’s battles and Alexander’s fooling people into believing there is some truth in them. I think it is bad television. The nonsense about Nostradamus, and his supposed fortune telling and prophesising, also aired as if it was a fact. No wonder there are so many people out there, dumbed down so far they will believe anything. The Atlantis myth is another favourite, which deceitful people use to exploit the dumb and the stupid.

I wrote a story about a man who invents a time machine, but not like the ones you see on films, this one was more like a fancy version of Google Earth. Using the memory of atoms, he found away to trace back history and show it on a computer screen. You just picked the date, time, and place and off it went just like Google Earth to find what happened, you then see a virtual creation of the past. After marvelling at his creation he is faced with a dilemma, if he allowed people to use his time machine, they might go back and see things that are best left in the past. Crimes of the past could be solved; secret packs between countries alliances, and betrayal, wives checking to see if their husbands were unfaithful, etc. He decides he has to destroy his creation, for he sees things from the distant past that would change the very fabric of society. Changes of power, the rise of religions and deities, mass genocide by supposed peaceful nations. He had opened Pandora’s Box, he now knew the truth about history and what scared him the most is nearly all of it was wrong.

It would be cool to see though wouldn’t it?

Saturday, 18 September 2010


You know what questions captivate me the most, the questions I ask myself, the questions that enlighten my soul.  What is this amazing, realism, reality, we are lucky enough to experience?  What does it mean to live a life, and does it have significance in the game being played?  What is beyond our comprehension, our limits of understanding?  Will my life carry on, to other unknown dimensions, when this reality draws to a close?  What is reality and what is illusion?  Can we break past set parameters, the ridged barriers and see the other side?  I would love to see the other side, and the other side of that side, until I have seen every side, every, plausibility.   Is life fate and destiny, set down with rules to follow?  Or does it choose its own, true flow?  Like a stream ebbing, to and fro, slowly increasing as each stream meets stream, until becoming a river.  Are we a large river heading for an Ocean, how deep is that Ocean?  Is it infinite or is it something beyond infinite?  This is what sets my mind, racing, flying through ideas and concepts, philosophical wonder, and mystique.


Ode to the dreams, a blissful longing,
Ode to the warm summer rain,
Ode to a love, a lifelong lust,
Ode to the flowers in Spring.

Ode to the beauty, sensual and radiant,
Ode to the life giving Sun,
Ode to the passion, intensity,
Ode to excitement and fun.

Ode to ones soul, and ones soul mate,
Ode to the burnt reds of dusk,
Ode to calm, quiet, contemplation,
Ode to a life full of peace.

Ode to the happiness and the joy,
Ode to the leaves in the fall,
Ode to creation, the eternal horizon,
Ode to the friendship of all.

Friday, 17 September 2010

Worship - A bad practice hidden from logic

Worship is probably one of the most stupid acts a human can aspire to, why you would really want to worship something or someone. Following something blindly without reason or fact is crazy, but that is what the worshippers do.

It does not benefit anyone to worship something; it certainly does not benefit the worshipped for whatever caused this adulation it will eventually destroy it. In addition, the worshipers what do they really get from it, they blindly and unwaveringly follow these people or deities or leaders or whatever to their sticky end.

Life is for living not for worshipping. You might reply, at least you should worship yourself; I say no you should not blindly believe you are great; it is also a route to oblivion. The age old saying, ‘Power corrupts and ultimate power corrupts ultimately’ is correct, but generally, the worshippers put this person, object or deity in this position in the first place. Their devotion and unyielding loyalty to whatever they worship, deceives the worshipper to a point of no return. After a while, the worshippers cannot tell the difference between what is right and what is wrong, they have no free will, they are blinded, controlled and utterly obedient. They turn from worship to obsession

The worshippers lose all sense of reality and they blindly follow their worshipped leader through anything that life throws at them even if they realise it is wrong it will not stop them from performing task, however insidious it may be. To worship is to switch your mind off to anything beyond the controlled rules created.

Never worship anything or anyone, think for yourself and learn the value of friendship, learn that worshiping something is ultimately the end for your ability to live a freethinking life, your brain will then be captive to the power of the worshipped.

Maybe if people spend as much time trying to solve world hunger or find peace, than they do worshipping things, then the world would be a better place.

If there, is a grand design and if the religions were right, then a god would not want to be worshipped, he would want you to better yourself to improve yourself and worship cannot really achieve this. In the short term, you will see improvement but it doesn’t last.

Achievement is what you know and what you leave behind.

Worship leaves you begging at someone’s feet, not knowing right or wrong.

Thursday, 16 September 2010

More good advice

***NOTE*** Wow just found this, I should listen to my own words now and again, I wrote this ages ago too, around 4 years ago.  Maybe if I had taken heed of my own advice I wouldn't be so f**ked up. Why is it always harder to take heed of your own advice, well it is for me I suppose the truly gifted individuals know how to use it for their benefit.  Maybe I will one day too, who knows.

Good ideas and policies will inevitably die, unfortunately good ideas and thoughts can turn out to be bad, as newer and better concepts are understood.

As long as we stay a democratic capitalist society we will start to stagnate, like the empires of old, they lost their power and are replaced by newer fresher ideas. This happens less and less these days and causes the stagnation. Hence all the good democracy and capitalism has created, begins to be used for greedy, me, me, me, motivated reasons.

Until society accepts that the only way we are going to progress as a planet, we need to get away from the attitudes of greed and selfishness. Everyone has the right to be who they are and not to be told what to do or what to think.

Until people are able to free their minds from the prison that surrounds them, and are able to comprehend the power that they can unleash their full potential will never be realised.

The planet is in a dangerous situation, it is close to the brink, it is slowly smothering itself, large group’s hell bent on forcing all to believe in what they believe.

These groups think they are speaking for the majority, they are not, they are speaking for a very small minority and they are through fear and coercion, controlling the masses, like a shepherd looks after sheep. We are not sheep we do not need to be lead, we need to be inspired.

People except living in a cage, they may not see the cage but its there all around them. Smash the cage and you will find true happiness. Suffer the cage and you may have times where the pain is not noticed but it always comes back no matter what you try to do or achieve it never goes away.

You need to realise you haven’t found happiness until you feel you don’t have to look anymore when that day comes a pleasure beyond imagination will be experienced.

Life is a game of snakes and ladders lots of ups and downs, but you can’t let the downs dishearten you too much and you can’t let the ups have the opposite affect if you learn to enjoy something to much eventually the enjoyment goes. If you sicken yourself, whatever it is, once you are sickened it is hard to appreciate again. Take things in moderation and don’t be worried about not wanting it, pretending to enjoy something when clearly you don’t is the road to oblivion.

Greed and the Capitalist Society

***Note*** I can't sleep, its a terrible curse, so I might as well add more writing, this one is really old about 4 years ago.

Remove whatever holds you back…   And replace it with…   Whatever pushes you forward.

Greed, greed, greed, three words everyone knows and loves. How much can I charge you for this, how much for that? We are obsessed with value and we as a race, seem to value materialism and greed above all else. We will quite happily let another human suffer and live in the most horrendous conditions, just so we can have more than we could ever need or want. It seems from my viewpoint that the only thing going on is the rich get richer and the poor well that is obvious.

I know it is an old cliché but by now as a species we should have realised this does not work. Eventually we are going to hit a critical mass, capitalism and democracy will eventually fail, new ideas need to be thought of to combat greed and materialism. We have seen in the past, ages of tyranny, of Kings and Queens, of revolution. We are, as a planet slowly increasing our moralist attitudes now. How is it different forcing a slave to work 15 hours a day or, forcing a mother in a third world country to walk five miles to work, then work a 12 hour day before trudging back for a pittance, so we in the west can have our little luxuries. You may say one is free but which one?

I love my little luxuries, but I’m sure without the greed of large corporations, we could have our luxuries without having to enslave half the developing world to achieve it. Your route to success is not through greed and accumulation of material goods, when did that ever really achieved anything. The more you have the more you want, it’s a vicious circle and it will all end with an almighty bang. Thankfully the internet has in some way developed an open source, sharing philosophy; although not perfect it’s a start of the metamorphosis from greed and capitalism to a kinder attitude to your fellow human. We need to work together to remove paranoia, and a need to horde and collect things. When humans first started to barter and swap goods - that was the most logical way to live life, a form of collaboration, I want this, you want that, I need help with this etc etc. I doubt we will end up with the utopian society they preach on Star Trek TNG but let us try to at least give everyone who lives on this incredible planet the chance to actually enjoy and fulfil themselves with peace and happiness.

Wednesday, 15 September 2010

What you believe!!!

If what you believe to be true is true, and what you believe to be false is false; happen to be totally wrong, would it matter?

If you genuinely believe it to be so, and it comforts or benefits you, makes you feel happy, makes you feel strong; does the fact its incorrect have any bearing. And if it doesn’t matter and doesn’t have any bearing, does this mean that everything is true and false, depending on what you believe. Confusing I know, but this seems to be the way of the world.

Mars Delusion

I find it rather strange that so many scientists believe we will be able to use Mars as possible planet to inhabit in the near future, as a sort of twin to Earth. I’ve watched programs where they suggest ways to bring an atmosphere, and other Earth like properties but it seems they are clearly missing a great deal of evidence or they are just blindly ignoring obvious problems to using Mars as a colony.

The first and most alarming miscalculation to this thought is that fact Mars doesn’t have a solid iron inner core surrounded by a flowing, molten, liquid outer core. So how will we create out magnetic field which keeps the atmosphere from burning away and keeps life from being bombarded by harmful cosmic rays? It is also too small, meaning less gravity than Earth. If you lived on Mars all your life, you would find it extremely difficult to come back to Earth. Earth also needs a Moon to sustain life, the reason being it keeps our planet from wobbling. It also gives us seasons and causes the tides in the seas and oceans. Mars has two tiny rocks nowhere near as large as the Moon, so the only life we could create there would be in some sort of habisphere. I am sure we might be able to use Mars as some kind of short stay holiday resort, or a scientist’s outpost, but I would feel sorry for the hotel workers or scientists stuck there. I suppose in a few millennia we will have advance enough to know how to turn Mars into a planet we can live on, but I would hope by then we have found better planets to inhabit, should Earth decide to have another extinction event.

Trust without deception, humanity needs to change to survive

***NOTE*** I wrote this about 2 years ago, it was around the time when teenagers were knifing each other in inner cities.  At least we have a new government now, let us hope they do a better job than the last one.  I think Brown's regime was probably one of the worst governments I can recall in my lifetime at least.

If anyone seriously believes, that the world we live in today is good, they are deluding themselves. Humanity is supposedly at its pinnacle, but I feel it is far closer to its own destruction.

We never seen to learn from out past. We live in a depressive society, where greed, power, and success are the only thing worth attaining. Gather as many possessions as you can, earn as much money, this is the way to fulfilment, but it is fundamentally wrong.

Look at society today, teenagers murdering teenagers, drug fuelled gangs attacking each other and the innocent victims, of their malevolence. Why is it, that the masses of terrorist cameras (supposedly there to keep us safe) are able to catch a dog doing its business, and be able to fine the owner, yet cannot keep these gangs of drug fuelled weapon carrying teenage thugs under control?

How can the bin men, refuse the collect an 80 year olds rubbish, and demand personal records of its residents, yet paedophilia and domestic abuse is still common place in society.

We do not seem to have learned anything from our past. We need to change fundamentally. We need to move away from the have’s and have not’s, market economies encourage less have’s and more have not’s. We allow most of our planets population to live in awful poverty and hardship. We seem to want to keep the masses down, western nations need to realise it will eventually lead to our downfall. Barriers need to be broken down, we need to embrace each as one, as humanity and not by nationality. We are all human, whether we like to think of ourselves as one or not, always remember together we will succeed, divided we will fall. Why is that so difficult for people to realise?

Here is a poem I wrote in one of my darkest hours, earlier this year...

I live in Britain it once was great,
It's now a cesspool full of hate,
One-time leaders of industry,
Now, its teenage pregnancy.
Camera's watch all streets and shops,
Yet hooded knifer's evade the cops,
Debt as high as a third world state,
We need to act before it's too late,
Government has lost the plot,
Sold our gold, a cut price job-lot,
Misery, is everywhere,
All is turning to despair,
Civil liberties have decreased,
Yet banker's bonus still increase,
No one seems to give a damn,
Look a minister's expenses sham,
How far down before we learn,
I live in Britain it's about to burn

A World without...





Do you not find it strange, that with most religions, the god figure, the almighty, the holiest of holies seems to do more bad things than good. I am not even just talking about the present incumbent of the title God, look at Zeus he raped, murdered, cursed and did countless hideous acts. Here are some of the things the present ‘One God’ has had carried out in his name; mass murder, ritual suicide, ritual slaughter (humans and animals), torture, self-flagellation, and self-mortification. Then you can add the discrimination of women, the mutilation of children, slavery, disease, genocide, and the list goes on and on. In the past people have thought he brought us the sun or made the crops grow, he created seasons, and gives us a sense of purpose and a reason to live. We now know this is all nonsense, the sun rises and crops grow because of physical and biological reasons not religious ones.

Here is a little phrase that would probably have had me burned at the stake after being tortured for my blasphemy.

“When he/she arrives, the Anti-Christ will not be here to destroy humanity, but here to destroy religion.”

Oh and a one line poem to finish off...

Strike me down God if you exist, but since you don’t, I know you won’t.

Monday, 13 September 2010

Time Travel

Just been watching one of Hawking's docs, he is discussing time travel, and he mentions the paradox about if you invented a time machine and then went back in time and somehow managed to kill yourself before you managed to invent the time machine. He states that this would create a paradox and is likely impossible. If you think of the universe in a linear way, it is impossible, but if you instead expand the way you see it, and imagine the universe as a series of moments then it is quite possible to go back and kill yourself and not create a paradox. The way you do this is simple, you are Person (Bob) A in moment A, you decide to make a time machine, Person (Bob) A creates time machine, Person (Bob) B, C, D etc also makes a times machine but not quite the same as you, they are you but in their moment something however insignificant changed their perspective. Person (Bob) AAAB1001, might have never even wanted to make a time machine he took a different path in an earlier moment - hope that makes sense. Anyway back to Person (Bob) A, his decision creates the time machine and he decides to go back in time and kill himself. Or someone he perceives as himself, but when he goes back the person he sees is not Person (Bob) A but another Person (Bob), maybe he is Person (Bob) B, or Person (Bob) ZS1, they also exist in a different moment and a different perspective. Person (Bob) life changes through every moment, and every moment Person (Bob) splits into many Person (Bob)'s, this happens constantly and every consequence of every moment of every Person (Bob) is played out. So it is logical that in one of those moments, Person (Bob) A can go back and kill Person (Bob). I'll try to make it make more sense when I think about it more, but I just wanted to get it down whilst it was fresh in the mind.

***Addition*** 23/09/2010 09.00

You have to think of the life or reality of Person (Bob) has always now, we generally imagine now as a progression forward, we create this forwardness because we have created time. Since we have created time and time moves forward, we perceive our existence as past (older moments of time) present (now moment) future (moments yet to come). This is incorrect, time does not exist, it is a human creation to help us form order out of chaos, it gives us the illusion time moves forward. So back to the Hawking's Paradox, we are always in the present moment even if we are capable of creating a time machine. The time machine will take us forward or back in time but it will still be our present moment. You don’t loop back and re-engage the old moment again, that has gone, you see a new moment, but you perceive it as the past. You are never going to see a time traveller from the future ever, you will never see a time traveller from the past either, for that is impossible, in our moment of perspective.