Hello to me, yes that person I used to be, the one that started this blog many years ago. The one that started this blog as a means to improve one's writing and one's mental health. I am still that person, but it is now nicely tucked away in a small part of my brain, occasionally popping its head out to say grrrrr, aarrhh!!!
I am at this present time in a happy place. I work, own a 'nice' home, and I can even claim to have the occasional female company (though, that part is a whole different story). At 46 I could say I am quite content to be a nobody, living in a world where being a 'nobody' is not the most important goal.
I have to be quick today, I start work at 8.30, however, normally I would walk, but today I am considering whether to cycle, and this is probably the most difficult decision I am making at present. And to be perfectly honest, I am very pleased with that.
At one time, in the middle of my descent into madness, I was obsessed with the goal of being somebody of having a life that mattered that would stand the time of time. As I write, I realise it's all bullshit, very few are remembered and if they are most of them are remembered for a short time. If all the people who have ever existed were placed in a 100,000 seater stadium, I bet less that one atom of those people is remembered and less still with any fondness. It is not important, and I realise that now.
Being a Mr Nobody is no bad thing, living a good life and enjoying the limited time we have, is far more important.
I'll leave it there for now as I have to make that difficult to decision walk/cycling hmmm decisions, decisions.