Thursday, 20 June 2013

Successful self-pity and moping!!!

There is nothing one can do, but look on at the passing days with invigorating wonderment, and splendour,

Is this true, can it be that easy?

See the passage of time, notice the moment, feel the presence of something more than just a one foot in front of the other action,

Today is always now, there is never tomorrow, there is never yesterday, what is wrong with me, why do I let this pass me by,

I know what to do but an unable to do it, am I stupid, am I afraid, am I just not good enough?

Constant grief, a never ending pain, a nightmare of consequences, suffering, endless, eternal,

Sadness, a sense of not knowing if there will ever be something else, a reason to surge onwards and try to break the barriers holding me back,

Why can I not break them?

Alas, this is the difficult part, to want to go; however, I am unable to go, or even try to go,

Perhaps one day I will break free and fly like a bird out of my cage and into the green and pleasant land,

To know what it is like to accept and rationalise my existence, is that actually possible, or is it just a confused pipe dream,

Can I climb the highest mountain and swim the greatest ocean, run through fields of wheat and smell the fresh sea air,

Or will I fade away into nothingness, without anything to show for my life, I pitiful mess, that perhaps had a hope to succeed one time in the distant past,

When one was young, before being twisted and crushed, before being broken and lost,

Will I walk the streets as an old man, slowly, Zimmer Frame holding me crooked, shaking, with no one to help me when I fall,

Wanting to die, hoping it will happen soon, quickly, without any fuss, without any pain, quietly fade away, as a shadow lost in darkness. 

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