Friday, 24 September 2010

Lost in a Strange Land

I am an alien, an alien lost in a strange land, surrounded by desert, smothered in confusion. I do not see what others see, I do not hear what others hear, my mind perplexes as to why this may be. Why is it I see what others do not see, why is it, that I feel and sense what others seem to miss? I wish I knew, I wish I could understand what it is, and why it is so difficult for me to be like everyone else.

I puzzle and wonder how the rest survive, how do they allow this plane existence to prevail, they do nothing to change it. Do they not want to change it? Is it easier to accept the unacceptable, is it easier to appreciate the mediocrity of life, to switch off the morbid sense of dread until your time comes and you pass into the next world.

Do others wait in hope that the next world will be better, will give them what they desire? So they suffer and conform, they forget and show no resistance, they allow the situation to envelope their minds, their souls.

Or is it just, that I am an alien, and I am the only one that feels this way, that wants to break free of this restraint, wants to rise like a phoenix from the flames, to accomplish more than my peers. To live a life of fulfilment, and joy, to see all I want to see, and cherish it forever. Yet it is me the alien who is not satisfied, and without hope, full of sadness, I weep at my misfortune and my misgivings. My waste of life, my endless faults, and insurmountable goals, are they too much to ask for? Why should I settle for less? Why should I not want to achieve the highest levels of success, and do more than anyone ever imagined, is this too much to ask?

Yet I am the alien, not like the rest, the outcast, the weird one, alone, without success. Maybe I yearn for too much; maybe I should just be like the rest, maybe I should just accept that life is like that and be happy with it. No never! I will never be happy with such a life, I will always be sad; I will always be lonely, unless I break through and fight past my struggle to succeed. Never to give up, always to fight on and on, until I have no breath left in my body.

The day you give up and accept a lesser life, is the day you die inside, it is the day you fail yourself and who you are and what you are capable of, it is the day you say goodbye.

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