Tuesday, 26 October 2010

Life, Change and Who Controls it

I decided long ago I wanted to change my life; the problem was at the time I did not know what I wanted to change it to. I now feel I am capable of making those decisions at least the one about what I want to do. I want to change it for the better. Ah that is a naff reason you may say. Well it is until you look at the alternatives, if you are specific about what you want to change to, then you are more likely to be disappointed. Similarly, if you are generalistic about a subject without having an emotional outcome then you are selling yourself short. Emotional return seems to be the best solution to changing one’s life. Yet you could say that emotions are fleeting, and ever changing in themselves, especially my emotions, so you cannot be specific about the goal or the emotion you want to achieve or change or gain, from setting that life changing goal.

The only thing left is to look at the problem as a challenge, and the vision behind the challenge is to improve yourself in whatever way you find applicable at the time. If you are too specific; you may get bogged down, especially if you realise the goal you thought you wanted. You felt it was the best thing ever, when deciding to change whatever part of your life you wanted to change. Suddenly becomes less important for whatever reason, then you are stuck in a quandary, do you change and let your subconscious believe you are a quitter, and this idea of quitting can quickly grow into something far worse. Or do you stick at it through hell or high water, and eventually resent the decision and wish you had not been so determined or stubborn.

There are many examples of this happening, but I am not going to mention them, so after waffling a while and learning the hard way, by being placed in the various dilemmas and situations outlined above. I now know the only way to go, is to want to better yourself and your chosen life changing feat or goal, whatever the feat or goal maybe, and if it changes, as it probably will, it does not detract from the feat or goal itself, which is and always will be; to change one’s life for the better.


  1. I heard someone say:
    So is it ever all right to quit, to walk away, to say no, so I give up? Well, the answer is yes. There comes a point of time when saying I’ll go is may be the best thing to do but under certain circumstances and we need to practice that. You shouldn’t quit because it's difficult; you shouldn’t quit just because it was inconvenient or you got embarrassed. That's just part of the process. I mean every single resolution like any single goal needs to be exposed to the elements just the same way that a tree is going to be exposed to rain, sleet, wind and snow and everything like that. You need to expose your resolution to challenge, adversity, difficulty, that’s just part of the process. You can’t get away from that. However, circumstances do change that there are health issues, there are relationship issues; people get sick; circumstances change and everyone’s circumstances from time to time changes and they have to say, you know what, right now, I need to walk away from this. This is not appropriate. It's not timely; I need to put my priorities in another place. But I want to make sure, yes there is a time instead of circumstances when walking away and saying, well going was probably the best thing but again not because it got difficult it’s because circumstances changed.
    There are things that are good to quit from as well. What about smoking, drinking to excess, over eating, aggressive behaviour etc etc so it's not always bad to QUIT!

  2. Interesting points, I think we are saying the same things only using different words, when I mean quit I mean when it has a negative divisive affect on the person who has quit. When you quit smoking it is hard, and an incredible amount of strength is required. I am talking about easy quits, where it is simpler to change your mind and do something else than to continue. Some people feel guilty about doing this, and in plays on their minds. If you have a goal that is just to improve and quitting smoking would definitely fall into that category, than that has to be better than someone who is constantly making specific goals that maybe unobtainable. I know this because i have done this. Quitting smoking is good, saying you are going to quit and never smoke again might not be, saying you will never ever want to have a cigarette again also might not be the case. Rigidness in a way forces us to break the rules the promises and the goals.