Sunday, 24 October 2010


Some years ago, I decided out of the blue, I wanted to paint, I thought it would help my creativity, and help me to focus. I was not bad at art in school, thought not good with oil paints. I concentrated more on pastels; they were less messy and not as finicky.

My first attempt turned into a self portrait, a profile image of me, not great but I thought umm not too bad for my first effort. The painting below was my second attempt, I suddenly realised I wasn’t bad at painting at least good enough for me in my efforts to improve creativity and focus. I decided not to worry about what I painted, I liked colour and wanted to experiment with just adding colour to the canvas and see what may come of it. As I have said before some were dreadful some ok, some good. Eventually I did an exceptional piece, in my mind at least. I was so impressed it ended up hanging in reception at work. I loved that painting it was something I never thought I could create, then I had my breakdown and I without thinking allowed my favourite painting to be sold in an auction for charity. I didn’t mind that, but I was disappointed at the amount of money they raised. But now I look back on it, and think well, they raised money for charity and not a small some but not a large one. And someone actually wanted to buy it; I wasn’t good at thinking that way last year, when I was in my darkest hour. Most of my good painting I have given away and many hang on friends walls; at least I hope they still do. I have also painted a few specifically for friends, and they were overjoyed with my creations, it makes you feel good when you create something and another person appreciates it. I have never asked for any money for my paintings since I doubt I would paint as well at least that is how I felt at the time.

I am digressing again, I have now reasoned that if my writing can improve and become easier by adding it to my blog. Maybe my painting will also, since I have not been able to paint often since last year, every time I try, I lose interest. I find I need to be in the right frame of mind to paint I cannot force it, artistic creativity does not switch on and off when I feel like it.

The painting I am adding does not have a name, at least I don’t think I named it, a friend said it showed my disturbed mind. But now I think about it, maybe it shows his disturbed mind since I concentrate on the sun and must of have concentrated on the rough sea.

Who knows?

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